Does Anyone Know What I Did Yesterday?

Uhhhh…. Yeah. So… no, I don’t really remember very much of anything from yesterday. Was anyone with me? If so, tell me what we were doing in the comments, please. Were we drinking? I’ve never been that drunk before. Did I get hit on the head or something? Now that I mention it, my head does hurt quite a bit, but that could be a hangover or a concussion, or both. I think I can rule out drugs since I didn’t have any in my possession before now and I don’t really know where to get any.

I’m checking my phone for pictures now, hang on.

 

This seems vaguely familiar…

Am I… am I pretending to hold a mannequin Batman hostage? Are those people watching?

Why am I dressed as Janis Joplin? How many times did I change?

 

This doesn’t do much for my “not on drugs” argument.

This doesn’t really clear things up for me. The last thing I remember properly was coming home from another unsuccessful expedition to find Walt Disney’s corpse. I had a glass of lemonade and then I went outside. There, I saw something that made me feel confused, and from that point on all I have are vague snippets.

I know there was a little person. I also have memories of talking to a long lost friend, but I don’t remember who that was. I think maybe I was in the hospital at one point? That’s right. I left because I didn’t want to miss the… bees? But I hate bees, that doesn’t make sense. No, not bees, scorpions. Uh oh…

I was afraid of that. Going over my last post it looks like I filled the room of an enemy of mine with scorpions. I may get some backlash from that. He had some friends in high places. Their alpine fortresses give them an ideal vantage point to shoot down my zeppelin next time I need to get into North Carolina. Bother.

So, looking around my room there are a few things that seem out of place, namely the katana sticking out of my pillow. I seem to remember a sword fight, now that I think about it. That could be why I was in hospital. No, that isn’t right either. There was a swordfight, but I wasn’t in it. It was between one of my minions and… someone dressed like Guy Fawkes? I hope I didn’t anger Anonymous again…

There are also one hundred and thirty-two copies of Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead here, all bound up with red ribbon and a card on top that says: “Thankyou for a memorable federal election.” I live in Australia and there haven’t been any recent federal elections. If you are reading this and you live in a country where there was one, could you tell me in the comments? Especially if it was a particularly memorable one. Thanks.

Lastly, the ceiling light is on, which means someone fixed it. That also means that someone with a high knowledge of mountain lions, Norse Gods, and Monty Python trivia was here (you have to answer a question each on all these subjects to gain access to any electronic devices in my house). This would point to popular Australian news anchor Kerry O’Brian on any other day, but I know for a fact that he will be preoccupied with zombie-proofing his house for the next month or so. Wait a minute…

Okay, there is a hot-air balloon tethered in the front yard, so this clears some things up. It certainly explains the mannequin Batman and the katana, at least. But it raises more questions, like “Who repaired the hole in the roof of the temple?” and “Where did Randall Munroe leave the hiking gear?”

If you have any answers, please leave them in the comments.

Confusedly yours,

Chaotica.